ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Dignity is for republicans.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
