Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
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