so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
