I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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