these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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