There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Randomize
