And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
