Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
