guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
