i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
