the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
