Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
