girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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