Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
