I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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