I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
He? As in you personified your dick?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
