Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
