sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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