just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
