Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
