butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
