I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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