Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
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