Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
