Please, let me fuck your mom
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Barsexuality is the new black.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
