We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
