A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
