My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
You took a bar mat shot.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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