Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
