I wish I could punch you in the face.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
