Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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