so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
