It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
