are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
