Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
This can only be settled by a dance off.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
