somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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