We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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