cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize