The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
