Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
i drank out of a bidet.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
