just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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