What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
