how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
