...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Randomize