Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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