i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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