you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
