she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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