margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Randomize
