Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Randomize
