in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
