we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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