also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
