oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
