before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
