She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
