i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I'm always down for nudity.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
