everyone is single if you try hard enough
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
