yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
