He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
