Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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