Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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