legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
