u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
