We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize