Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
