Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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