you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize