So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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