Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
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