Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
