I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
