Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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